Insecurities
by Mysterious-Teen-Blogger
Summary: During the two weeks before Beca moves, she's staying with her dad. During those two weeks, Beca has to come clean to her girlfriends about something she's never told anyone before.


Insecurities

After Beca graduated college, Chloe actually graduated this year, she decided to stay in Atlanta for a month to say goodbye to her dad before she left. Since she started college, Beca and her father had gotten along a little better, and not that she would ever mention it, but Beca liked her half sister a lot and loved spending time with Mini-Monster, as Beca called her. Her name is Megan, by the way. So, Beca was staying in Georgia for a month to spend time with her 'family' before she moved to New York. Yes, New York. Because that's where her home is. That's where Aubrey and Chloe are. Honestly, it didn't matter to Beca that right after graduation Chloe flew out for college interviews in New York where Aubrey was waiting for them. Ok, that was a lie. It hurts a hell of a lot more than anything has ever hurt Beca, except maybe her father abandoning her, she just didn't want to say anything to them because she doesn't want to hold them back, and Aubrey has been in New York alone for a couple months already. So a month is nothing compared to what Aubrey went through. But Beca has a problem. Well, **problems**.

Beca's problems all stem from her childhood. Because she blamed herself for her father leaving, she grew up with the worst social anxiety, self esteem issues, and trust issues. Her anxiety was bad enough that most people would probably see a doctor, but not Beca. She just swallowed it and did what she had to, then once she was alone, she would breakdown. The only reason she knew it was anxiety rather than just being shy was because sometimes she can't choke it down. She has anxiety attacks frequently, especially in crowds. She cries herself to sleep often because of pent up emotional abuse throughout the day, which was why she was hesitant about moving in with Aubrey and Chloe in NY, not that she told them that. She just paused a minute, focusing on not passing out from fear, blamed it on being surprised, and said yes, 'gladly.' She loves them, don't get her wrong, she just doesn't want anyone to know about her problems or how serious they are. Not to mention the nightmares she has. She's been with Chloe and Aubrey for a year, and Beca still won't sleep with them because of how self-conscious she is, she blames it on not being ready because Chloe and Aubrey are women and never having done **anything** with women and blah blah blah, more crappy excuses. Even though she's never done anything with anybody, she left out that detail. They have more important things to worry about, like med school and being a lawyer.

Beca has been in her dad's, and technically Sheila's, house for a week now. She spends almost every day with Megan. Megan is 2, and Beca loves her to death, even though she's Sheila's kid. It's not Megan's fault her mom is who her mom is. Just like it's not Beca's fault her dad is her dad. Beca's routine goes a little like this. Get up, get dressed, get coffee and breakfast, grab Megan from step-monster when she leaves, hang out with the ball of sunshine, then in the evening get her daily Skype call from her girls. Since it's night when they call, they have never seen Megan, and Beca plans to keep it that way. She's Beca's safety blanket, as backwards as that sounds. But she spends as much time as she can with Megan. Sometimes she sings, sometimes she mixes, sometimes she watches TV, sometimes she tries to teach Megan new words or how to write. No matter what she's doing, Megan is attached to her somehow. Usually in her lap with the computer or a book. Megan loves it when Beca sings the most. She giggles and claps and tries to sing and it's just adorable, Beca is willing to admit that much to herself and to her sister, but no one else will ever hear her say 'adorable.' Megan is the only person Beca doesn't have self esteem issues around, because she's 2 and is too young to judge Beca about dumb shit.

* * *

Today was bad. It was halfway through her second week at her dad's, and it was fucking awful. Sheila has the day off. Which means Beca got asked to run to Starbucks to get coffee for her and Sheila. Which means Beca went, because saying no to people makes her uncomfortable and kick starts her anxiety. So, she already has to deal with her demons. Before she even got a fucking cup of coffee. Beca walked quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. She walks in and the bell dings, something Beca hates because it draws attention to her. She walks up to the front and waits behind the one person in line.

"Hi, how can I help you?" Beca gulps as she steps forward to speak to him.

"Can I get one medium black coffee, and one medium with 2 and 2?"

"Sure thing. Can I get your name?" Beca feels the chill run through her.

"Beca."

"Alright. I'll get right on that." The boy smiles and turns around to make her coffee. Beca heads to the bathroom. She rubs her temple while she paces the bathroom, speaking to herself quietly.

"Come on Beca. You can do this. You can fucking do this. Calm the hell down, it's such a stupid easy thing to do." Beca straightens herself and exits the bathroom just in time to be called and grabs the coffee. She leaves quickly, her breathing just as fast as her heart rate. When she gets home, she gives Sheila her coffee and heads to her room. Alone. The one safety blanket she has is unavailable when Sheila is home because she is Megan's mother, although Beca acts more as her mom than she does in Beca's opinion, but whatever. She can't ask for Megan because she's too nervous to, and because she will never admit to loving her sister as much as she does. Beca paces in her room until she sits down, her breathing not having slowed down and her coffee untouched. She passed out in her bed.

* * *

Beca woke up to her father shaking her shoulder lightly.

"Huh? What?"

"Bec, it's dinner time. Are you okay?" Beca sits up and nods her head.

"I'm fine. I was up late mixing." It wasn't a lie, she **was** up late, and she **was** tired, that just isn't the reason she was asleep. She followed her dad downstairs and ate dinner with them. Beca got upstairs and checked her phone to see 2 new messages from about 10 minutes ago. One from Chloe and one from Aubrey.

 _ **"Hey Becs! I'm not gonna be able to Skype tonight baby. I'm so sorry, I have a test tomorrow and I'm cramming. Aubrey might still be able to though. She said she'll text you. Happy anniversary… Love you 3 Chlo"**_

 _ **"Hi Beca. I know Chloe can't call you tonight because of her studying, but I can't either. I'm so sorry sweetie. I got a ton of paper work given to me last minute from the office, and apparently I have to have it finished for a case tomorrow. Happy anniversary, I love you. - Bree"**_

Beca sighed heavily and wiped at her eyes which already had tears pouring out of them. Beca always wondered why. Why two people as perfect as Chloe and Aubrey would choose her too. Why they love someone who couldn't even order a fucking coffee without having a mental breakdown. Beca cried heavily as she typed out her responses to her girlfriends, sending Chloe's first.

 _ **"That's okay Chlo. Good luck on your test, not that you'll need it. Happy anniversary. Love you too Sunshine."**_

 _ **"It's all good Bree. Hope your case goes well tomorrow. Happy anniversary. Love you baby."**_

Beca cried as she questioned herself. _Why can't I just be normal? Why do I have to have all these problems? Why did Chloe and Aubrey choose me? I don't know how they could choose me. How could they love someone as messed up as me?_ Beca cried until she fell asleep.

* * *

The next day was better. Well, it started better anyway. Beca got up, and step-monster had work, so she got Megan. Beca carried Megan on her hip to her bedroom.

"Hey Mini-Monster?"

"What?" Beca sat down, shifting as she sat on her phone, but ignored it cause who gives a shit?

"Can I tell you a secret?" Megan nodded, causing Beca to giggle. **Beca giggled.**

"I love you. You know that right?"

"Ya! I wove you too Beca!" Beca hugged Megan tight, and Megan wrapped her hands around Beca's neck. Beca tried hard not to, she really did, but a single tear escaped her eye. Megan looked at her quizzically.

"Why are you sad?" Beca wiped her tear away.

"I'm not sad munchkin."

"But… you were crying."

"You're too smart for your age, you know that? I'm just… not feeling too happy right now, but I'll be okay."

"What's wrong?"

"You wouldn't understand kiddo. It's adult feelings and junk. Do you know what would make me happy though? Playing with you!" Beca stood, placing Megan on the floor to hold onto her leg for moment. Beca clicked a couple times and started a song before she grabbed Megan and hoisted her onto her hip. The song blared through her speakers, and she started singing as she danced with Megan. Megan loves Taylor Swift, something Beca will never admit to loving to anyone except her bubbly little sister. Beca imagines this is probably what Chloe was like as a kid. Beca sang along while she danced around with Megan on her hip, giggling her head off.

 _ **"Midnight  
You come and pick me up no headlights**_

 _ **Long drive  
Could end in burning flames or paradise**_

 _ **The interview, oh  
It's been a while since I have even heard from you**_

 _ **And I should just tell you to leave cus I  
Know exactly where it leads but I  
Watch us go round and round each time**_

 _ **You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye  
And I got that red lip, classic thing that you like  
And when we come crashing down  
We come back every time  
Cus we never go out of style, we never go out of style" **_

After the chorus, Beca's Skype started ringing. Beca was too in the moment and just hit answer, not caring who it was, or what they saw her doing. She was still dancing with Megan in her arms when the call went through.

"Beca?" Beca spun around quickly, Megan still in her arms giggling her head off.

"Oh, um, hey Bree." Beca went off camera, setting Megan on her bed next to the laptop.

"Megan, sweetie, can you just sit tight for a minute?" Megan nodded, and Beca picked up her laptop, moving to sit against the wall farthest from the child so she could see Aubrey and Megan, without Aubrey seeing Megan or vice versa.

"Hey, what's up Bree? I thought you had a case?" Aubrey squinted at Beca suspiciously.

"I finished early…"

"I'm assuming you won, of course."

"Of course I did." Beca chuckled.

"What's up? You don't usually call during the day."

"I know, but I missed the call yesterday of all days. I'm so sorry sweetie." Beca hid her pain. It hurt to be brushed off by not one, but both of her girlfriends **on their anniversary**. She shrugged and gave a lopsided smirk.

"It's okay. You were both slammed with work and school, I get it." Beca smiled at Aubrey, although it hurt like hell.

"Beca, who was the kid?" Megan beamed at Beca.

"Me?" Beca smiled warmly at Megan.

"Yes, sweetie. She means you."

"Who?" Beca shook her head at her sister.

"I'll be done in a few minutes sweetie, I promise. You wanna watch Full House while I talk?"

"Yay!" Beca put up one finger for Aubrey, who had the most shocked expression on her face as Beca set Full House up on her TV for Megan. Beca ruffled Megan's hair as she returned to her place sat against the wall before speaking to Aubrey again.

"Okay, what was that?"

"What was what?"

"I thought you didn't like kids?"

"I don't like **kids**. I like **this** kid. There is a big difference." Beca said uncertainly, her anxiety filling her immediately.

"Who is she?"

"My half-sister?" Beca asked shyly.

"I thought you were an only child?"

"I am. Was. My dad had her with step-monster. I watch her during the day when they are both at work." Beca shrugged.

"Can… can I meet her?" Aubrey asked shyly. Beca's heart rate tripled.

"Let me ask… Hey Megan?"

"Wha?"

"Do you wanna meet my friend Aubrey?" Megan smiled in a way that reminded Beca of Chloe. Megan got up and slowly made her way to Beca, who opened her arms for Megan before she plopped down in her lap where she usually sits. Beca positioned Megan between her legs with the laptop in front of them on the floor like they usually did and set her chin on top of Megan's head. Aubrey smiled brightly at Megan.

"Hi Megan, I'm Aubrey."

"Aubwee! I'm Megan." Beca didn't even realize she was smiling.

"So, Beca's your big sister, huh?"

"Ya! I wove Beca!" Beca smiled brighter than she was before. She kissed the top of Megan's head.

"Love you too kiddo."

"Megan, is Beca a good big sister?"

"Ya! She sings with me."

"I heard! I bet you sing better than Beca does."

"Nu uh! Beca is the best!"

"Thanks Mini-monster. Get back to your TV, I'll be done soon." Megan giggled at her nickname and got up, returning to the TV as she was asked.

"Wow Beca. I had no idea you were so good with kids."

"I'm not."

"Beca, I heard you earlier." Beca's face fell noticeably and her heart rate got faster, if that was possible. She swallowed a couple times before she could respond calmly.

"What do you mean?" Aubrey held up her phone as she answered.

"You butt-dialed me. I heard you." Beca swallowed again before she could speak.

"How much did you hear?"

"From the time you told her you love her?" Aubrey had a look on her face that read 'I'm sorry and worried.'

"Oh."

"She said you were crying." Beca ran a hand through her hair.

"No I wasn't."

"Beca, don't lie to me sweetie. What's going on?"

"There is nothing wrong. I'm fine. I was just telling my little sister that I love her. That's all."

"Yeah, right. Okay. When you're ready to talk, you know I'm here for you." Beca's smile was small.

"Of course I do. I miss you baby."

"I miss you too. So does Chloe. We can't wait for you to get here. I love you. We'll call you tonight when Chloe gets home."

"Love you too, I'll talk to you soon." Beca hung up the Skype call and hung her head. She felt awful. It's not their fault she's here, and they're there. But Beca feels… left out? Sad? Unloved? Confused? Insecure? Yeah, let's go with that. Beca hung out with Megan until Sheila got home, and she gave Megan back to her mom unwillingly. She just does it because she has to, not because she wants to.

When Beca was alone, she truly felt alone. She laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering why Chloe and Aubrey could possibly want her. What was there to want about a moody, emotionally repressed, bitchy, music loving alt-girl with anxiety and self esteem issues out the ass? She was nothing like Chloe or Aubrey. Chloe was bubbly and colorful, while Beca was gloomy and dark. Aubrey was organized and full of ambition, while Beca was disorganized and unmotivated unless it was about music. Aubrey was actually a really caring person towards those that mean something to her. So, even more differences. Beca is still repressed and hides things. Aubrey and Chloe love to cuddle on the couch and hold each other when they sleep, and Beca has difficulties with touch, even with those two. She just feels insecure. She tenses when people touch her, just not as much as with Aubrey and Chloe.

Not to mention how beautiful Aubrey and Chloe are. Chloe has amazing fiery red curls, and Aubrey has flawlessly gorgeous platinum blonde hair, while Beca has brown hair just like every other girl with brown hair. Then there are eyes. **Oh my god, their eyes.** Having green eyes is not a common thing. And Aubrey has them. Her eyes are just green enough that they are stunningly beautiful, but not blindingly green. Chloe has the blinding eyes covered. Her eyes are so blue that you have to do a double take. Their eyes fit their personalities so well. Colorful, but tame: Aubrey. Blindingly colorful and bright all the damn time: Chloe. Then we have Beca. Whose eyes are dark and stormy, just like her personality. Before Beca realized, she was crying. Again. She was crying hard, like gut wrenching sobs, but it was the worst type of crying. Silent crying. Where everything hurts so much your jaw falls slack, but there isn't a sound coming out. Your eyes are scrunched shut so tight that it hurts, but you're already crying so hard it doesn't matter. Beca cried until she exhausted herself to sleep, missing a Skype call from Aubrey and Chloe.

* * *

When Beca got up, she looked like shit. Her eyes were red and puffy, her throat hurt, and she was just emotionally exhausted. She didn't even bother to change out of her pajamas. She went downstairs to get Megan for the day when Sheila stopped her.

"Oh my god Beca, are you okay? You don't look too good."

"I'm fine." Beca's voice was hoarse, and she winced at her tone.

"Yeah, sure. Go back to bed sweetie. I'll stay home and watch Megan." Sheila was nice to Beca, not that Beca normally cared. She was sick enough to care today though.

"No, I'm fine, you can't miss work for me-"

"Beca, it wasn't a question sweetie. Go back to bed, it's fine." Beca bit her lip and shifted on her feet for a minute before she met Sheila's eyes. The concern Beca saw in her eyes was enough to convince her. She nodded appreciatively.

"Thanks." Beca climbed the stairs and laid back down. Sleep didn't come easily, her head was filled with all the 'what if's' of her relationship. How Chloe and Aubrey probably celebrated their anniversary in New York without Beca. 'They don't need me. I'm just there.' was Beca's most prominent thought before she fell asleep again. Beca was only awake long enough to eat lunch and dinner that whole day, missing another Skype call from Aubrey and Chloe, and several worried texts and phone calls with matching voicemails.

* * *

The next day, Beca woke up feeling physically refreshed, but emotionally like shit. She missed not one, but two days worth of Skype calls and way too many phone calls and texts. She was up at 8, when Sheila and her dad needed to leave, and went downstairs, her phone forgotten in her room.

"Hi Beca. Are you feeling alright today?"

"Yep. All better. Thanks Sheila." Sheila smiled brightly at Beca. Beca squinted and took a step back.

"What?"

"That's… the first time you've called me by my name instead of Step-Monster." Beca shifted between her feet.

"Well, I mean, you took care of me all day yesterday so…" Sheila shrugged, the smile not leaving her face.

"It wasn't a problem. I'm just glad you don't hate me as much as you used to."

"I don't **hate** you… I might have when I was younger, but I'm an adult now. I just… I think you and I are more neutral, don't you?"

"I'm glad Beca. Thank you for always taking such good care of Megan." Sheila handed Megan to Beca, who held Megan on her hip bouncing slightly. Beca smiled at her sister.

"Yeah, whatever. She's **my** sister after all." Sheila kissed Beca's forehead.

"Mommy! Beca is my favowite!"

"Oh really? Well, you're my favorite too Mini-Monster." Sheila laughed as she made her way to the door.

"Be safe you two!" Beca scoffed.

"And risk the wrath of you **and** my dad? No thanks. I'm just going to teach her all my swear words and dirty tricks and convince her that tattoos and piercings are good ideas." Megan giggled as Sheila left. Beca headed for her room.

"What do you wanna do today munchkin?"

"Color!"

"You wanna color? Alright." Beca grabbed her laptop and headphones and went downstairs. Megan sat on the ground in front of the table and started drawing while Beca mixed with one headphone off, glancing at Megan every minute or so. Beca's pant leg was tugged and she paused her music. Megan held up a paper with a drawing on it. It had a stick figure with brow hair, a smaller one with blonde hair, music notes and it looked like they were supposed to be dancing?

"This is so good Mini-Monster! Is this me and you dancing?" Megan nodded then held her hands up for Beca to grab her. Beca set the drawing on the couch and picked Megan up.

"You wanna dance with me munchkin, is this your elaborate plan to seduce me?" Beca was already looking for her playlist with child friendly pop songs when Megan nodded enthusiastically and giggled, not that she understood what Beca had just said.

"Ya!" Taylor Swift songs blared through her speakers as she danced with her sister. Beca never got tired of that. She loved her sister so much. They were dancing and laughing and singing through the third or fourth song when someone knocked on the door.

"Hold on one sec, I gotta answer the door munchkin."

"Noooo!" Megan gripped tighter, and Beca smiled.

"Alright. **We** gotta answer the door." Beca left the music playing while she and Megan walked to the door. She opened the door and her jaw dropped while her eyes popped out of her head.

"What… what are you guys doing here?!" Aubrey and Chloe spun around and stopped dead in their tracks. They both had expressions similar to Beca's, but for different reasons. Beca held the expression because her 2 girlfriends who were supposed to be in New York were currently on her door step in Atlanta. Chloe and Aubrey held them because Beca was holding a giggling child, and they could hear the **Taylor Swift** playing.

"What's so funny munchkin? Huh? What's so funny?" Beca smiled as she tickled her sister with her free hand, causing Megan to laugh more, and Aubrey and Chloe to become more confused. Beca stepped aside and motioned for them to come in. They followed Beca to the living room where Beca paused her music and sat down, Megan crawling into her lap as usual.

"Megan, do you remember my friend Aubrey?"

"Ya! Aubwee!" Aubrey smiled at the child as she sat down with Chloe on the couch across from Beca and Megan who were in the chair.

"Megan, you see that lady next to Aubrey?" Megan nodded.

"That's my other friend Chloe."

"Chloe!" Chloe smiled warmly.

"Hi! Who are you?"

"Megan!"

"Hi Megan."

"Megan, why don't you draw Aubrey and Chloe a picture, huh?"

"Okay!" Megan jumped down and went to color, Beca smiling after her.

"What are you guys doing here? You guys have school and work and stuff!" Aubrey and Chloe got up and pulled Beca to the couch, sitting on either side of her before wrapping their arms around her from both sides. Beca bit her lip to hide how emotionally unstable she was. She wanted to cry right now. She wanted to ask why they love her? How they could? Why they flew from New York to see her? **Why?**

"I missed you guys…" Beca sniffled once before Aubrey kissed her, then Chloe kissed her. Beca hugged Chloe and Aubrey closer to her, when Megan jumped in her lap.

"Hey munchkin. What'cha got there?" Megan handed her drawing to Beca while she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth excitedly. The drawing had a brunette, a red-head, and a blonde with their names spelled the best a kid could, and a small blonde next to Beca. It was 'Beca,' 'Cloe,' and 'Abwee,' with 'me.' It was supposed to be the three girls with Megan. Beca smiled brightly at her sister.

"It's great Mini-Monster! Do you wanna put it on the fridge?" Megan shook her head before pointing at Chloe and Aubrey.

"You wanna give it to Chloe and Aubrey?" Megan nodded. Beca handed it to her, even though Chloe and Aubrey were sitting right next to her and heard the whole thing. She whispered into Megan's ear.

"Then give it to them Mini-Monster!" Megan looked at Aubrey, then Chloe then knitted her eyebrows together.

"What's wrong?"

"How do I give both of them it?" Beca laughed at her sister.

"Here." Beca stood up from in between the two, bringing Megan with her.

"Chlo, scoot over to Aubrey." Chloe moved over so she and Aubrey were next to each other while Beca put Megan on the ground whispering to her again.

" **Now** give it to them." Megan came over and pushed the paper toward the pair sat on the couch. Chloe and Aubrey gushed over the drawing, of course they would. Beca then noticed their attire. They were both wearing jeans and t-shirts. But… they were the t-shirts that they only wore when they had to talk about something serious. That was Chloe's idea. Each of them has a t-shirt that signals 'serious talk incoming!' And those were the shirts they both had on. Chloe's was orange, the color she hates the most, Aubrey's was yellow, the color she hated the most, and Beca's was pink, because it meant she would have to wear a pink **something** at some point. When Megan went back to drawing, Beca addressed it, not meeting either of their eyes, sitting in the single chair in the room so they didn't try to touch her right now.

"We can talk when Sheila gets home to watch Megan."

"Sheila?" They asked her in unison, something Beca hated because only they did it together.

"My step mom." This time only Aubrey spoke.

"I didn't know you were on good terms with her?"

"She spent all day yesterday being more of a mother to me than my own father has ever been a father so I mean…"

"What do you mean sweetie?" That was another thing about Aubrey and Chloe, Aubrey used sweetie and Chloe used baby or babe. Beca used other things along with those. Chloe was 'sunshine' or 'red,' and Aubrey was 'love.'

"It's not important. We just had a talk this morning, and we are okay. She's not as bad as I thought…" The 4 girls spent time doing pretty much nothing as they waited for Sheila to get home.

"Beca? I'm home!"

"In here!" Sheila saw Beca first, leaning down to kiss her forehead again,

"You're feeling better then? Oh, hello! I didn't know you were having friends over, I'm Sheila." Sheila put her hand out for Chloe and Aubrey to each take. Chloe and Aubrey both shot Beca a look that said 'are we friends or what?' Beca sighed dramatically as she rolled her eyes.

"Sheila, this is Aubrey and Chloe."

" **These** are Aubrey and Chloe? As in, **the** Aubrey and Chloe you refuse to tell me about?" Beca knitted her eyebrows together.

"I told dad to tell you… He didn't tell you." It was a statement rather than a question.

"His words were 'I think this is something Beca should explain since I don't really understand it either.' So I know the names."

"God d-" Beca stopped herself, glancing at Megan who was peacefully drawing on the floor.

"Alright. Well, Sheila, the thing is… we are in a relationship."

"Ok, and?"

"All 3 of us." Sheila looked indifferent.

"Ok. Well, it's a pleasure to meet you both! I'm Sheila Mitchell, please call me Sheila. I guess you already met my daughter, Megan?" Sheila didn't seem phased at all.

"Yes ma'am. She's a great kid." Sheila waved her hand at Aubrey.

"Please. No need to be so formal. I will tell you however, even though I'm not her mom, if you hurt Beca, I will not hesitate to hunt you down. Both of you." Beca was just as surprised at Sheila's statement as Chloe and Aubrey were.

"That's the last thing we'd want to do, Sheila. We know people have trouble understanding this, but we really do love Beca." Chloe spoke with a determination that Beca doesn't normally see. Sheila smiled at them.

"I'm glad. Now, you ladies go on upstairs, I'll take care of Megan." The 3 girls stood up, and Beca pointed to the staircase.

"Second door on the right. I'll be right up." Beca sat down next to Sheila on the couch.

"So… you're like, okay with that?" Sheila shook her head good naturedly.

"Beca, do they make you happy?"

"Yes. More than anything."

"If you had to pick between mixing, and them, which would you choose Beca?" Sheila asked out of curiosity, while also trying to see how serious it is.

"Them." Beca didn't hesitate; she didn't need to think about it. Sheila was shocked slightly, as far as she knew, nothing was more important to Beca than her music.

"If they both asked me to stop mixing, I would. If I could only have one, I would pick them. No doubt. I'd rather be a tax accountant than not have them in my life." Sheila chuckled.

"Then I'm happy for you. If you're happy with them, I don't see why I shouldn't accept it. Sure, it's different, and I can promise you it will take me a little getting used to. But we just want what's best for you. Both your father and I do." Beca smiled brightly at her step-mother. Beca hugged Sheila, something she had never done before.

"Thank you. For everything."

"My pleasure Beca. Now get upstairs to your ladies!" Sheila pushed Beca off the couch. Beca grabbed her laptop and headphones and climbed the stairs slowly. She took a deep breath in before she walked into her room, Chloe and Aubrey already comfortable on her bed.

"Glad to see you made yourselves at home." Beca smirked at them sprawled out on her bed, taking her chair for herself as she put her laptop and headphones back on the table. As Beca sat down in the chair, two pairs of arms grabbed her by her arms and pulled her up, giving her a mini-heart attack.

"Ah! Guys what the hell?!"

"Nuh uh. We haven't seen you in like 10 days Becs." Chloe and Aubrey threw her onto the bed, sitting on either side of her, wrapping their arms around her again.

"We missed you Becs." Beca squirmed a little. She was being touched **and** they were gonna have a 'serious talk,' and now they want to throw emotions into it too? There is only so much Beca can deal with at one time. Beca bit her cheek hard, focusing on being able to speak properly.

"I missed you guys too." Beca wrapped her right arm around Chloe, and her left around Aubrey, drawing small patterns on both of their backs. They all just laid there, content with the silence. Well, physical silence. Beca's mind was a flurry of worry and confusion. Beca broke the silence, her nerves and worry getting the best of her.

"Not that I mind, but seriously, why are you guys here?" Beca's voice was a whisper, and it sounded a lot more vulnerable than she wanted it to be. Aubrey and Chloe sat up in sync, Beca following, sitting against the wall her bed was against while Chloe and Aubrey were turned inward to face her. Beca tucked her legs into her chest and rested her chin on her knees. They shared a look before Aubrey started.

"We had already planned to come down for a day or two for the anniversary, but that got delayed because of work and school. But…Beca, we're worried about you." Beca's brow knitted together and she squinted at them.

"What, why?"

"I know what I heard Beca. I **heard** Megan say you were crying, then you told her it was 'adult feelings and junk.' Not to mention we haven't gotten a hold of you since our call the other morning? We called you later that night, and then again last night." Beca winced and dropped her head.

"Yeeeeah, sorry about that."

"What's going on baby? Is… did we do something?" Beca's head snapped up quickly, she hated it when Chloe sounded sad. She shook her head violently then ran a hand through her hair.

"Then what's going on?" Before Beca could try to make an excuse someone knocked on her bedroom door.

"Come in." Sheila came in with a water bottle and some Tylenol for Beca.

"Sorry to interrupt. Beca, take these please? Just to make sure." She handed Beca the water and 2 pills before leaving.

"Sure thing. Thanks." Beca took them as Sheila exited her room, closing the door behind her. Chloe and Aubrey both sent her worried looks.

"I'm sick for one day and everyone thinks I'm dying." Beca mumbled under her breath, shaking her head.

"You were sick?!"

"Chlo, calm down. I didn't feel well yesterday, that hardly counts as 'sick.' I was fine this morning when I got up, and I'm fine now, as you can see." Beca gestured toward her body.

"What was wrong?" _Damn doctor girlfriend._

"I was just…" Beca thought for a minute. _What was I exactly? Freaking out? Having an emotional breakdown? Emotionally exhausted from anxiety and self esteem issues?_

"Exhausted? Yeah, that sounds right." Chloe looked confused.

"Exhausted? From what? Have you been sleeping properly?"

"Not… that kind of exhausted Sunshine." Beca sighed tiredly. She just needs to know. Before they could ask her any more questions, Beca asked her own, just barely audible.

"Why me?" Aubrey and Chloe looked concerned.

"Why you what, sweetie?" Aubrey placed her hand on Beca's knee. Beca kept her gaze steadfast on the ground, her eyes a little empty, and her facial expression deathly blank. A look that scared Aubrey and Chloe tremendously.

"Why did you choose me?" Chloe and Aubrey both gasped. Beca didn't wait for them to answer. She just got up from the bed and paced for a minute, trying to calm her ever growing heart rate, before practically falling to her knees. Her breathing was sporadic and much too fast. She was having an anxiety attack. In front of them. Chloe and Aubrey were by her side instantly, Chloe trying to coax her through it.

"Beca, baby, breath. Come on. Just breath. You're ok." Aubrey gathered her tiny girlfriend, looking even smaller than she usually does, in her arms and held her tightly. Beca's thoughts were buzzing too fast. _They don't need you. They aren't actually worried. You're not good enough for either of them, let alone both of them. Stupid, stupid Beca._ Rather suddenly, and for no reason that Beca could find, her heart rate started to calm down, and her mind became a little more clear, trying to figure out what that heavenly sound was. Oh, it was Aubrey and Chloe. Singing. Singing **Titanium** no less. She realized that she was sitting in Aubrey and Chloe's arms, on the floor. She opened her eyes slowly, the first two things she saw were her favorite colors. Blue and green. More specifically, two pairs of green and blue eyes. Chloe spoke first, her having more knowledge about whatever the fuck just happened than Aubrey.

"Hey, you okay Becs?" Beca closed her eyes hard, then stood up quickly, putting distance between her and the two now very shocked women. Beca was standing there, looking at them, cursing herself for having an anxiety attack in front of them. One hand over her mouth, the other resting over her stomach, hugging herself. The reality dawned on Beca as the two women stood next to each other, looking confused and worried. Her gaze was stuck on the wall over Chloe's shoulder, when her eyes widened, and she barreled through Chloe and Aubrey heading for the bathroom, and proceeded to throw up in the toilet. Beca felt her hair being pulled out of her face, and a hand rubbing her back as she kneeled in front of the toilet. When she had successfully emptied her stomach, Beca sat back against the wall, and burst into tears. She has now not only had an anxiety attack, but thrown up, **and** burst into tears in front of the two most perfect women. Chloe wiped Beca's mouth off with some paper towels before hugging her tightly. Beca pushed her off at first, then saw Chloe's face and immediately regretted it. Her sobs became stronger, and this time when Chloe grabbed her, she clung to her. Sobbing uncontrollably into Chloe's shoulder, feeling Aubrey wrap her arms around the two of them protectively. Aubrey's arms came off when she heard Sheila's voice from the door, which was left open. Aubrey left to talk to Sheila, although Beca's not sure what she was going to say. Aubrey and Chloe knew just as much as Sheila and her dad did, which was nothing. As Beca's cries lessened, Chloe tried to speak to her, pulling back just enough to make eye contact.

"Baby, do we need to take you to the hospital?" Beca shook her head, not trusting her own voice, and refusing to meet Chloe's eyes.

"Are you sure?" Beca nodded as she wiped her face with the back of her hand. Aubrey came back in then, Sheila standing in the door way looking just as worried as Aubrey and Chloe. Aubrey knelt down, pushing some of Beca's hair out of her face before she spoke.

"Sweetie, do you wanna go to bed?" Beca thought for a minute. There was no way she'd be able to sleep, and that would just put off all the questions everyone has, let alone revealing her sleeping problem. Beca shook her head.

"What do you wanna do sweetie?" Beca's voice scared her, but did not surprise her, considering she just threw up and cried her eyes out.

"Explain." Beca moved to stand up when Aubrey just shook her head.

"I got you." Aubrey picked Beca up bridal style. Beca wrapped her arms around Aubrey's neck as she whispered into Aubrey's ear.

"Living room please. Put me in the chair by myself." Aubrey nodded and made her way to the living room, setting Beca down gently in the chair she asked to be in, and the three other ladies sat down on the couch, looking at Beca with confusion, worry, and expectance. Beca sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she tucked her legs underneath herself.

"Well that was fun, huh?" Aubrey shot her a look that told her it wasn't the appropriate time for jokes.

"Ok, not the time for jokes. Got it. Uh, I'm not sure where to start exactly, but I guess you guys have questions I could answer instead?" Chloe raised her hand. Of course she did, she was the med student. Beca nodded at Chloe.

"Do you… have you ever had an anxiety attack before?" Beca sighed.

"Yes."

"How often?" Beca counted in her head.

"Probably anywhere from 4-7 times a week." Chloe's eyes widened in horror.

"Beca… why didn't you tell us?" Beca shrugged.

"I don't know, I never told anyone…"

"Beca, sweetheart, why didn't you tell your dad and I? We could have gotten you some help." Beca shrugged again. Chloe still hadn't settled down, and she had more questions.

"How long have you been having them?" Beca thought for a minute.

"Um, around… like… 4th grade maybe?"

"4th grade… Beca! This is serious, you need to see a doctor!" Beca laughed sadly.

"Why? I think I've been doing fine."

"No. No you're not. You just think you are because you don't know the difference. How bad is your anxiety?" The conversation seemed to be Chloe interrogating Beca while Aubrey and Sheila tried to follow.

"It's not **that** bad." Beca insisted.

"Beca, you just had an anxiety attack so bad you threw up because we said we were worried about you. How. Bad. Is. It?" Beca sighed for what felt like the thousandth time as she ran a hand through her hair.

"I don't know. How do I, like, gauge it?"

"Can you order for yourself? Like, coffee or whatever?"

"Of course I can. You've been out with me before."

"Yeah, and… every time… you go to the bathroom right after… oh my god how did I not notice before?" Her last question was more for herself than anyone else.

"Okay, then I guess maybe it's a little worse than I thought it was. But I'm fine." Sheila spoke suddenly after Beca's half resignation.

"Is that why you were sick the other day and yesterday?" Beca shrunk in her chair.

"Well, I mean, I guess, yeah technically."

"Beca, why didn't you tell me? Seriously, I wouldn't have asked you to go get the coffee the other day if I knew it was that stressful for you." Chloe looked over at Sheila and Beca could feel the anxiety building up again.

"What do you mean that's why she was sick? How sick was she?"

"Yesterday she got up looking like absolute crap, so I made her stay in bed. She was only awake long enough to eat lunch and dinner all day. She didn't get up until this morning." Chloe looked at Beca, equal parts terrified and worried.

"Becs, baby, that's-"

"NOT NORMAL, I KNOW OKAY!" Beca hugged her legs to her chest tighter, burying her head in them. Beca took a minute before speaking from inside her legs.

"There's more, if anyone cares."

"Of course we care sweetie. That's kinda why we're here. We love you Beca, don't ever think that we don't."

"I just don't get how you could." Beca mumbled into her legs, silently praying after that no one heard it. She was proved wrong when she heard a noise that sounded like a strangled sob and looked up to see both of her girlfriends' shocked expressions, with silent tears falling from their eyes. Chloe's hand covering her mouth, she was the one who made the noise. Sheila made a move to leave but Beca halted her.

"I… I have some… serious self-esteem issues… from the anxiety and the divorce and stuff…" Chloe sobbed again. Aubrey remained deathly silent, her mouth hanging open with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"It's hard for me… to, like, believe some of the things people tell me. So like, when I'm being 'humble' or whatever… it's not humble… it's just what I think. That's why I never really had friends before. Or dated anyone before college. Jesse was my first boyfriend and he um… couldn't… um… He wouldn't wait." Beca dropped her head again. Chloe and Aubrey should understand, since they were waiting patiently for what Jesse couldn't, but Sheila might not. Apparently she did because she moved over and hugged Beca tightly.

"Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry. I'll talk to your dad when he gets home, okay? We'll figure this out, but I think you need to talk to them about this one." Beca nodded.

"Thank you Sheila." Sheila left the room, leaving the three girls to themselves. Beca glanced over at them, and was horrified. It was like they both froze. Beca got up carefully, and placed a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Guys? You okay?" Chloe's head snapped up with tear filled eyes. Chloe stood up and engulfed Beca in a hug.

"Oh baby. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay Chlo, it's not your fault. You didn't know, it's not your fault."

"I should have noticed. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry we made you feel like we don't love you. We love you so much Beca. So, so much." Beca nodded noncommittally into Chloe's shoulder. When she pulled back, Aubrey still hadn't moved, but she was blinking and breathing, so Beca figured she was shocked and trying not to stress vomit. Beca knelt in front of her, taking one of her hands and rubbing Aubrey's back with the other one.

"Aubrey, love, are you okay? I… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Beca rested her forehead on Aubrey's knee, apparently her words broke Aubrey from her trance, because she pulled Beca into her.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Beca was fighting her own tears as she continued her string of apologies into Aubrey's shoulder. Aubrey just hugged her tighter.

"No. No, there is nothing to be sorry about. You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay, we're gonna help you. We love you Beca. God do we love you." Beca took in a shuddering breath before she pulled away from Aubrey and looked at the two of them sitting next to each other. Chloe gasped again, causing Beca to raise an eyebrow.

"You were sick because of the anniversary…" Beca swallowed.

"No, no I wasn't-" Chloe looked so sad. It seemed as though it hit Aubrey then too, because she was the next to speak.

"You thought that we didn't love you because we didn't call… Oh Beca." Beca bit her lip, she didn't want to talk about **that.** How she cried so hard she made herself sick the next day.

"Oh my god. She was sick the day after… Did you make yourself sick sweetie, oh my god." Aubrey covered her hand with her mouth as Beca nodded faintly. Chloe spoke again.

"What happened? Why did you get so sick baby?"

"I… I don't wanna talk about it. It doesn't matter. I'm fine."

"But you're not. You were crying when you were talking to Megan too. Was… was that about us too?" Beca nodded faintly again.

"That was the first time… that was the first time that when someone said they loved me there wasn't a single thought in my head telling me why it was wrong that they said that. Or telling me that I'm not good enough. That I don't deserve their love. That I'm not pretty enough, that I'm too repressed, that I'm too different, that no one could love me…Because, she's 2, I mean, she doesn't know how not to love everyone."

"Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say. I shouldn't have said that." Beca stood up and backed away from the pained expressions from her girlfriends. Beca could feel the sick rising in her stomach. _That was it. They're gonna leave._ Beca dropped her head and stared at the ground, biting her lip so hard she actually drew blood and hissed at the pain. Chloe came over to her, lifting her head. Chloe pouted as she wiped the blood off of Beca's lip with the thumb.

"Baby. I love you. I mean that. And you are good enough. You are more than good enough. You're beautiful, and talented, and the most caring girlfriend, well, you and Aubrey." Beca bit her lip again, on the other side, and drifted her gaze away from Chloe.

"Hey. Listen to me. I mean it. You're perfect baby. **I love you.** " Beca shuffled a little. _How?_

"I just don't see it. I'm like…" Beca paused a moment to come up with an analogy, "A rainstorm. I'm dark, and gloomy, and sad. And then you are the sunshine. Everyone loves it when the sun comes out. Bright, and happy. And then Aubrey is the rainbow. Fun, and full of wonder and mystery, even if people don't wanna look hard enough to find it. I just… I'm so **nothing** compared to you guys. I… just don't understand how two people as perfect as you guys could settle for someone like me." Beca's rant was punctuated by Aubrey wrapping her arms around Beca.

"Beca. Listen to **me** , since you won't listen to Chloe." Aubrey was using her 'Bella leader' voice.

"You **are** beautiful. You **are** amazing. If we stick with your analogy, which I wholeheartedly disagree with, then you do have to know that the sun and rainbow only come **because** of the storm. Don't you get it? We aren't the same without you. Do you know how rainbows work?" Beca shook her head into Aubrey's shoulder, all of their grips tightening when Chloe threw her arms around them too.

"A rainbow works because the sun shines and reflects off of the water droplets that are in the air from the rain. It refracts off the water, and that's why you see the colors. So, for a rainbow," she pointed at herself, "to work. It needs the sun," she pointed at Chloe, " **and** the rain," she pointed at Beca.

"You know Beca, for someone who is so self conscious about never having been in a relationship aside from the horrid one with Jesse and this one, you are one of the best partners I've ever had." Chloe added, earning her a confused huff from Beca who was buried in Aubrey's shoulder.

"I only say one of the best because I also have Aubrey, and you guys tie. I'm serious though. Out of all the partners I've had, boys and girls alike, Beca has been the most… attentive? Like she notices things that people don't normally notice, and faster than the others that did. Like she remembers everything. Sorry Bree."

"No, I totally agree. She memorized my coffee order after only one time, and that was before we were even really friends, let alone partners." Beca started blushing, because _okay, maybe I did. But it's not like I went home and wrote it down so I'd never forget… okay, maybe I did._ Aubrey and Chloe untangled themselves from Beca, who was blushing now. Chloe and Aubrey shared a knowing glance before sitting down, pulling Beca in between them.

"So, here's what's going to happen. Chloe and I are going to take turns listing all of the things we love about you. Or things that you do that other people wouldn't notice or care to do. Chloe, would you like to go first?" Chloe nodded.

"One time, the first time I slept over at Beca's before we were all together, I was really mad because I didn't have a pair of clean socks, and I was running late to my morning class. And you guys **know** how I am about having clean socks. She got up and gave me a pair of hers because it was upsetting me, and I explained to her how I hate not having clean socks. Since then, every time I slept at Beca's, to this very day, there has been a pair of clean socks waiting for me on her table somewhere. Even if we went to bed hammered, there would be a pair of socks on top of a sticky note that would say 'Beale's socks' or something like that."

"It's just socks Chlo." Chloe leaned over and kissed the argument off of Beca's lips.

"No. It's thoughtful. Because I mentioned something about myself, and you remembered. Even when we stumbled into a room together we were so drunk, you remembered my socks. That means a lot Beca. Now, do not protest any of these things, because if we share them, it means something to us, okay?" Beca nodded, then Chloe looked at Aubrey.

"When I was younger, my mom would help me when I stress-vomited. There is this spot on my back that she would rub circles in, and it always worked. Beca found it the first time she helped me with stress vomiting, and she uses it even when I'm not vomiting to help me stay calm."

"Wait, Beca found the spot? I never even found that spot." Aubrey smiled at Beca.

"Well, Beca found it." Beca reached around Aubrey's back and drew circles in the spot. The tension in Aubrey's shoulders visibly lessened and Chloe's mouth formed the most adorable 'o' shape. Beca stayed silent as they continued.

"Wow. Okay, next thing. We all know how Beca never lets anyone listen to her mixes except for the stuff she makes for the Bellas. Well, I figured out why." Beca's face visibly paled.

"Did you go through my computer?" Beca asked in disbelief.

"No! I would never do that to you. Luke, from the station, gave me all of the flash drives from throughout the year when he graduated. And I maybe… sort of… listened to them. And I realized that maybe there is a reoccurring theme, Beca? Tell me if I'm crazy, but the inspiration for most of those mixes were similar, am I wrong?" Beca shrunk in her seat at being found out. Her face also became the loveliest shade of red. Beca shook her head, because no, Chloe was not wrong.

"Do you mind if I tell Aubrey what the reoccurring theme was?" Beca sighed before shaking her head, hiding her face in her hands

"In every mix, you can find at least one song that has something to do with one of us. Here Comes the Sun, Just the Way You Are, Titanium, Green Eyes. Do I need to go on?" Beca shook her head, pleading for that embarrassing story to stop. Beca decided _now or never, right? Whatever, right?_ She got up suddenly, and calmly walked to her bedroom, getting the two flash drives out of her lock box. The green one and the blue one. She came back downstairs quickly, Aubrey and Chloe focused on her. Beca took a deep breath before handing them the flash drive that matched their eyes in color.

"Uh…Here… Happy Anniversary?" Beca shifted on her feet, watching their faces to gauge a reaction. Then Chloe squealed. And Aubrey was left slack jawed, expression of pure joy on her face. Beca felt happy that she could elicit these reactions from them. That they were happy. Because that's all Beca wants. Chloe jumped up and hugged Beca much too tight.

"Chloe. I can't breathe." Chloe's grip loosened and she stared slack-jawed at Beca, then glanced at Aubrey who had the same expression of pure joy on her face, except this time she had tears in her eyes.

"Woah, Bree, don't cry. If you don't want it you could have just said that…"

"What? How could you possibly think that I don't want it? Of course I do! I love it. I'm just really happy because I know music is the most important thing to you."

"It's not the most important thing…" Beca mumbled under her breath.

"Really?" Aubrey snorted in disbelief. Beca needs to learn to keep her mouth shut because now Chloe's going to-

"When you were talking to Sheila earlier, is what you said true?" Beca looked at Chloe.

"Huh?"

"Before you had the attack, you were talking to Sheila. About us… and you said that um…" This was a side of Chloe nobody really ever saw. Beca thought to her conversation, and what Chloe could possibly talking about. Then it clicked.

"Ooooh. Well, I mean, of course I mean it…" Chloe gasped then hugged Beca again. Beca broke it when she felt the tears fall onto her shoulder.

"Hey, don't cry, please. I hate it when you guys cry."

"I'm confused. What did you say Beca?" Chloe unlatched from Beca to face Aubrey, her face full of adoration.

"Sheila asked Beca if she had to pick between music and us what she would pick." Aubrey looked nervous and Chloe looked at Beca to give her answer.

"I said you guys…" Beca shrugged as if it were no big deal, but Aubrey jumped to her feet and kissed Beca sweetly. Followed by Chloe. Chloe, the ever enthusiastic one, wanted to listen to the mix **right now.**

"Well, go get your laptop so I can listen!" It was hard enough to **give** it to them. She was going to mail these to them for the anniversary, but decided against it and went with the other stuff. Well, the **other** mixes she made them that were less… them-oriented? Like the Chloe song is on this mix, and Green Eyes is on Aubrey's, while it's not on the other one. The other one was safer, less rejection worthy, more generic, if you will. Beca shook her head.

"Nope. You gotta listen to it when you get home and get your damn mail." Beca fake pouted.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I wasn't exactly expecting you to be here for me to give you these mixes…"

"Wait, you sent us something else too?" Chloe was beaming.

"Well… yeah… looks a lot like what you're holding right now though." Chloe was absolutely ecstatic.

"Wait so let me get this straight, you made us 2 mixes? **Each?** " Beca nodded sheepishly.

"When were you gonna give us these ones?"

"I… wasn't… These ones are a little… different than the ones I sent you, but I figured since you came all this way just for me then, why not?" Aubrey quirked an eyebrow.

"What do you mean different? Now we **have** to listen to it." Beca sighed heavily and went upstairs. She came back downstairs and plugged both mixes into her laptop, with two pairs of headphones. She set one mix up to one pair of headphones, and did the same with the other mix and pair of headphones. She sat between Aubrey and Chloe and handed each girl their corresponding pair of headphones before she hit play on both of them. Beca bit her lip again while they both listened to the mixes. Beca's breathing picked up when Chloe and Aubrey's heads both turned toward her slowly. When she said these mixes were different, she really meant it. Every song she chose, she covered specifically to put in these mixes. Chloe's hand went for the headphones but Beca swatted her hand and mouthed 'wait until it's done.' Chloe nodded, but didn't take her eyes off of Beca. Beca quickly spun around to Aubrey and mouthed the same thing, earning a teary nod in response.

Okay, maybe Beca playing the mixes wasn't a **bad** idea, but it wasn't a **good** one either. Because somehow, while Beca was leaned back with her eyes closed enjoying bits and pieces from both sets of headphones, Chloe and Aubrey both fell asleep. They both fucking fell asleep with the dopiest grins on there faces. Beca tried to stifle her laughter as she took the headphones and laptop away from their slumped over forms on the couch. Beca decided that again, she would do something she never does, and unleash one of her hidden talents. Her incredible strength. Beca carefully picked Chloe up bridal style and carried her upstairs, placing her in the bed carefully. She made her way downstairs and did the same with Aubrey, which was a little more difficult because Aubrey's legs are **super** long so Beca had to go upstairs sideways. When she got Aubrey in bed next to Chloe, she kissed both of their foreheads, muttering an 'I love you.' Beca didn't have anything big enough for either of them to wear, so she just left them, not that she would have changed them anyway. She closed her door quietly, pillow and blanket in hand, and went downstairs. Sheila was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, grinning like the Chesire cat.

"What?"

"You're such a softie Beca." Beca looked back up the stairs, then smiled.

"I am not." Beca said indignantly. Sheila smirked.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Why aren't you up there with them?"

"I don't sleep well. My anxiety gets me even while I'm sleeping. I learned that the hard way. I'm violent when I sleep." Beca shrugged and headed toward the couch.

"What do you mean?"

"I kick and move around a lot. When I have someone stay the night, I wait until they fall asleep. Then I move to the couch and make sure I'm up before them and crawl in before they get up." Sheila looked concerned.

"Oh, sweetie, that's horrible. I'm guessing you never told them that either?" Beca shook her head.

"Oh sweetheart, is there anything I can do to help?"

"No. Thank you though. Good night Sheila." Sheila went into her bedroom, and Beca took the couch. She fell asleep easier than she normally does.

* * *

 _Beca woke up to Aubrey and Chloe's hushed voices in the kitchen._

 _"Bree, I just don't know. I don't think she loves us! Come one, Bree, she slept on the couch rather than in her room with us!"_

 _"I don't know if she does either. I mean… she hesitated about moving in with us too. I don't want to pressure her, but we've been together for a year and she won't have sex with either of us. She was hiding all of her anxiety and self-esteem issues, what's to say she isn't hiding something else? What if she isn't even into girls?"_

 _"Well then what are we even talking about? Let's just go." Beca got off the couch in time to see Aubrey and Chloe walking to the door, hand-in-hand._

 _"Guys?" Aubrey and Chloe turned around, determination written in their features. Chloe and Aubrey spoke together._

 _"Goodbye, Beca," then turned and walked out of the door leaving Beca alone again._

* * *

Beca jolted awake, covered in sweat and tears, and she was shaking. She ran her hands over her face and through her hair. She wiped the tears off of her face and got up, refusing to sleep again. She checked her phone. 6:30 am. Well, at least she got some sleep. Sheila and her dad would be up soon to get ready for work; they get up at 7. Beca flicked the coffee pot on, her arms wrapped around herself while she sat on the counter. (Short person privilege!) Beca made herself as well as Sheila some coffee, and left enough for Chloe and Aubrey in the pot. Her dad drinks tea, and she's not about to mess with that nasty fucking leaf water. She sat down on the couch coffee in hand, and drank it slowly, letting her dream sink in. _Do they really think that? I should tell them I love them more often. Maybe I have more to tell them…_ Beca was broken from her trance when her dad and Sheila came out, dressed for work. They were both shocked to see Beca up. Her father addressed her first.

"Beca? What are you doing up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep. Thanks for letting Bree and Chloe stay here."

"No problem Bec. Sheila told me about your anxiety, why did you never tell me?"

"I never told anyone. I've just been dealing with it on my own, apparently not well, but I did anyway. I don't know." Her dad hugged her, and for one of the very few times, she hugged back.

"I'm here for you. If you ever need help, if there's anything I can do, let me know."

"Thanks dad. Sheila, there's coffee in the kitchen."

"Oh, thank you sweetie." Beca hummed in response before sitting back down, Megan climbing onto the couch next to her, imitating Beca's posture. Beca ruffled her hair.

"Good morning munchkin."

"Morning Beca!"

"Shhh, my friends are big sleepy heads!" Beca talked to her in a shushed voice.

"Oh. Okay."

"You hungry? I think I could really go for some Cheerios."

"Yay!" Beca scooped Megan up and made rocket sounds on her way to the kitchen, her dad looking more than shocked. Beca set Megan on the counter while she got the cereal and made a bowl for herself and a small one for Megan, ignoring the shocked yet joyed expressions from her father. They ate their cereal at the table while her dad read the paper. When her dad and Sheila left at 8, Beca made 2 cups of coffee, one black the other filled with things to make it sweet, just the way Aubrey and Chloe like it, and right when she turned around, a very sleepy Chloe walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"Morning Sunshine." Chloe jumped at Beca's voice.

"Oh my god you scared me! What are you doing up so early?" Beca handed Chloe her coffee as she answered.

"I'm always up when dad and Sheila leave so I can watch this one." Beca poked Megan in the side causing her to giggle.

"Thank you for the coffee. You're so good with her, I never knew you were good with kids."

"Eh. I'm not good with **kids** , I'm **okay** with **this** kid. There is a difference." Chloe smiled as she drank her coffee.

"Hmm. I don't believe you. How did I get to your room last night? All I remember was listening to your mix, which was oh my god **so good** Beca. That's probably the best gift Aubrey and I have ever gotten."

"It was nothing."

"Yes, it was. How many songs were on mine?" Beca counted on her hand for a minute.

"Maybe… like… 10? I think."

"And on Aubrey's?"

"Around the same."

"So, you're trying to tell me, that covering 20 songs and mixing them was **no big deal**? I don't buy it. At all. It was wonderful. and I could never have asked for anything better. Thank you so much. I love you." Chloe kissed Beca sweetly.

"You're welcome Sunshine. I love you too. You… you know that right?" Beca's dream was worrying her.

"Of course I do. It doesn't make me any less happy hearing you say it though."

"But, you do **know** that I love you, right?"

"Yes… what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just a bad dream. We, uh, have something else to talk about when Aubrey gets up."

"What do we need to talk about when Aubrey gets up?" The woman in question asked as she walked into the kitchen, looking much more awake then Chloe did, but Beca handed her the coffee nonetheless.

"Morning Love."

"Morning. How did I end up in your room? The last thing I remember was sitting on the couch listening to your mix." Beca rolled her eyes as she picked Megan up and headed for the living room.

"Magic." Chloe and Aubrey followed her to the living room and watched her interact with her sister.

"Alright munchkin, what do you wanna do today?" Beca sat down on the ground in the middle of the living room while Aubrey and Chloe took the couch, looking questioningly at the pillow and blanket Beca forgot were there. Megan yawned before she answered.

"I'm tired."

"You wanna go back to sleep? Alright, we can do that." Beca picked her up and took her into her room. Beca set her down in her crib, which honestly she was getting a bit big for. Beca tucked her in and sang to her since it was the only way she knew how to get her sister to sleep.

 _ **"You shout it out  
But I can't hear a word you say  
I'm talking loud  
Not saying much**_

 _ **I'm criticized  
But all your bullets ricocheted **_

_**You shoot me down  
But I get up  
I am titanium**_

 _ **I'm bulletproof  
Nothing to lose  
Fire away, fire away**_

 _ **Ricochet, you take your aim  
Fire away, fire away**_

 _ **Shoot me down, but I won't fall  
I am titanium"**_

Beca stopped singing when her sister fell asleep. She left the room and closed the door quietly with the monitor in her hand. She came back into the living room to see Chloe and Aubrey smiling at her. She set the monitor on the table.

"What?"

"You sing our song to make her sleep?" Aubrey quirked an eyebrow with her question.

"Well, I mean, it's a soft song if you sing it right. And the first time, I spent hours trying to find a song, and that one worked so I mean…" Chloe giggled and gestured for Beca to sit between them. Beca isn't sure how exactly, but she was dubbed middle person. Beca sat down between them, her arms to her side.

"So, what was it you said you needed to talk about baby?"

"I… uh, well. A couple things I guess. You guys know that I love you right? Like, really, really love you." Beca looked between her girlfriends.

"This again, Beca what's wrong?"

"I, uh, have sleep problems."

"What do you mean? Chloe and I have both slept in the same room as you. I never noticed anything wrong."

"Seeeee the thing is, I never actually slept in the room with you guys."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Aubrey was confused, which was something she didn't like to be.

"Well, I'm a horrible sleeper. I have nightmares a lot, and I kick and punch in my sleep… so I have never actually slept in the same bed as you guys…"

"Is that why you're always up before us?" Chloe asked finally. Beca nodded.

"So, you had a nightmare last night? What was it about?" Beca's eyes welled up with tears at the thought of it, Chloe noticing immediately and wrapped her arm around Beca.

"Hey, hey. Talk to us baby. What happened that made you this sad?" A couple of silent tears fell out of Beca's eyes as she whispered.

"You guys left me…"

"Beca, we aren't going to leave you. What on Earth made you think we would leave you, sweetie?" Aubrey's arm joined Chloe's around Beca.

"You thought I didn't love you so you left me." More silent tears fell through her whispers. Chloe and Aubrey tightened their arms around Beca.

"Never. We aren't leaving you." Chloe and Aubrey shared a glance, but Beca knew what it was about.

"When are you guys going home?" Aubrey and Chloe both sighed before looking at Beca with sad expressions.

"Sweetie-"

"No, I get it. You flew from New York to Georgia, I didn't expect to see you at all. I'm grateful for what I got." Beca smiled genuinely through the tears that were still falling down her face. Chloe and Aubrey both wiped the tears from the perspective side they were on.

"I love you guys. So much." For once, Beca was glad when Aubrey and Chloe spoke in unison.

"We know."

* * *

"Beca! It's so good to see you again, how is everything going?" Beca walked through the door and flopped down on the couch as she usually does.

"It's alright. You-you remember last time I said there was something I wanted to do?" When Beca got to New York, she had started seeing a therapist. That was almost 2 years ago, and now her anxiety was almost nonexistent, and her self esteem was well above average. She has been with Aubrey and Chloe for 3 years now. Her career picked up, a lot. She was loaded, not that she told Aubrey and Chloe about the savings account she had set up, but she made sure they lived very comfortably nonetheless.

"I remember you mentioning you had something on your mind, but I don't think you mentioned it."

"Well you see the thing is Sarah… my anniversary is coming up at the end of the week."

"That's awesome! What're you going to do for your ladies?" Sarah wiggled her eyebrows at Beca. Her therapist Sarah was more like a friend to talk to than a doctor, but they never saw each other outside of the office so it remained professional.

"Well, that's what was on my mind. We've been together for 3 years now, known each other for like, god, 7 years? Yeah, 7 years. We've been living together for 2 years now. And this relationship is really out of the norm so I don't know how this would work, but even if I don't get it I know this has always been something important to Aubrey and Chloe, and I want it too now and I-"

"Beca! You're rambling. Get to the point." Beca nodded before she pulled a little drawstring bag out of her jacket pocket. She opened it and grabbed the two rings, both silver bands with gemstones in the center. One an emerald green color the other a cerulean blue.

"I, uh, I want to propose to them, but it's like, really weird. How do you ask that in our weird thing? I don't know. I just know that Aubrey and Chloe have both always had these dreams about walking down the aisle in white dresses and flowers and shit and… I never had those thoughts before. Because of my parents and all, but… I want it. I want it so bad. I'll be fine with anything they want as long as my dress can be like, black." Beca chuckled at her color preferences. She looked up and was met with Sarah's mixed expression of shock and… joy?

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Beca, I hate to word it this way, but I'm not going to beat around the bush with you. One of your biggest issues has always been your fear of commitment due to your parents divorce. With you telling me this, I know that you've come so far. You have accepted that it's not your fault, you've stopped blaming yourself. You're ready to be happy. And I'm proud of you, as your therapist and your friend. Now, how are you gonna do it, and I think you should all wear dresses that match your eye colors but that's just me." Beca groaned at the suggestion.

"Gross. Oh, shit. What time is it?"

"Quarter to 10, why?" Beca's appointments never really lasted long anymore. She would just come in with an update on how her anxiety or lack thereof was doing.

"Shit, I really got to go! I have an appointment at 10. I'll call for our next one." Beca ran out of her therapist's office and jumped into her car. She headed to a place she hadn't been to since she was in college, which wasn't this one specifically but the same type of place. She walked in and was met by a girl who reminded her of herself. Dark makeup, tattoos, don't give a shit attitude.

"Hi, how can I help you?" She was surprisingly cheerful despite her outward appearance.

"I have an appointment with my friend Luke?"

"You must be Beca. Come right his way." Beca was led through the parlor to the back where Luke was sitting next to the chair.

"Becky! Long time no see."

"Hey Luke, thanks for doing this man."

"No problem. So, what are we doing?"

* * *

When Beca walked in the door, she expected she would be home alone for a few hours but **nooo** , both Aubrey and Chloe were home. She walked through their living room singing Titanium when she saw her girls on the couch watching TV. Beca cursed silently as they both looked up at her and smiled. Beca moved her arm behind her back, hiding her wrist wrapped in gauze.

"Beca you're home! Come, join the snuggle fest!" Chloe waved a hand signaling Beca to join them.

"One sec." Beca slid her jacket back on to cover her wrist as she took her boots off. She walked into the living room and draped herself less than gracefully over both of their laps. Her head in Aubrey's lap and her midsection in Chloe's.

"Hi." Beca smiled up at her ladies.

"Hey, how was Sarah?" Beca smiled brighter as Aubrey started running her fingers through Beca's hair and Chloe laced their hands over her stomach.

"Good. It went really well. I wasn't expecting you guys to be home?"

"I'm off call today, and Bree's case got postponed because the asshole on defense didn't show up." Beca rolled her eyes.

"Of course he didn't. He was just scared because the best lawyer is on offense, so he's gonna lose. But, whatever, means I get you all to myself." Beca brushed some of the hair that had fallen out of Aubrey's face when Aubrey grabbed her hand. Beca winced and redrew her hand in pain. Aubrey was immediately concerned.

"Beca? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just hurt my wrist is all." Bad move. Chloe being a doctor always finds a way to rear its head somehow. Chloe pulled her up to sit fully in her lap and reached for the offending hand. Beca pulled it to her body.

"No way Beale. Hands off."

"Nuh uh. Give it to me Beca. Let me see what you did."

" **I** didn't do anything." Aubrey looked worried.

"Did someone hurt you?" Beca frowned and slumped her shoulders.

"It was supposed to be a secret. I wasn't gonna tell you yet, you've **ruined** the surprise." Beca said exasperatedly.

"Well now you have to tell us!" Beca sighed at her energetic girlfriend before pulling her jacket off, revealing her gauze covered wrist. She sighed as she removed the gauze slowly. Aubrey and Chloe both gasped and Beca smiled shyly.

"Uh, well. I got some new tattoos?" The skin was red and the words couldn't be read clearly. Chloe ran her fingers over the red skin before Aubrey spoke.

"What does it say?" Beca spun her wrist around to show that the words wrapped around her wrist, forming a bracelet looking design with the words.

"It's… well. It's… this is embarrassing."

"Oh, now you **definitely** have to tell us." Beca sighed. She traced the ink on her wrist and smiled fondly at whatever was written.

"Aubrey and Chloe."

"What?"

"That's what it says. It say's Aubrey and Chloe." Beca smiled at Chloe, then at Aubrey. It took a moment for it to sink in, then Chloe squealed and wrapped her arms around Beca.

"Does it really?" Chloe was overjoyed.

"Yes. It does. You guys mean the world to me." Aubrey seemed to have picked up on Beca's slip up.

"Hold on a minute. You said some." Beca's face flushed, and Chloe pulled back to look at her, her jaw dropped at Beca's expression.

"Beca, how many did you get?" Beca averted her eyes, favoring the couch. She bit her lip and sighed.

"Damn smart girlfriends." Beca muttered under her breath. Aubrey poked her back and Beca winced.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Beca laughed at Aubrey's worry.

"Tattoos hurt Bree."

"Hah! So there is more than one! How many did you get?"

"Just 3…" Beca smirked.

"3?!"

"Yep." Beca popped the 'p' to add to her cockiness.

"I wanna see!" Aubrey and Beca both smiled at how excited Chloe always was. Beca smiled again before standing up. She pulled her shirt off carefully, trying not to strain her back. Beca failed and whimpered.

"Help?" Aubrey and Chloe both took hold of the shirt and peeled it off of their brunette girlfriend. She felt both of their fingers brush across the newly inked words across her shoulder blades with a space between them, signaling that they were separate.

"Chloe." Beca raised her left hand and pointed to her left side, before crossing her arms over her chest since she didn't have a bra on due to the pain.

"What?"

"Yours is the left side."

"Wait, these are for us too?" Aubrey asked as she switched sides with Chloe.

"Mhmm. Well, technically. They both have to do with both of you, just little more specific per person, I guess?"

"What does it say?"

"Well, the left one says 'Our Love Is Titanium' and the right one says 'I Love You Just The Way You Are'." Chloe and Aubrey spoke at the same time, but with different words.

"The shower…"

"The pool…" Beca laughed at their reverent voices.

"Yep. They both apply to both of you, just… one has more to do with Chloe than Aubrey… and one has more to do with Aubrey more than Chloe? I wasn't planning on getting these, but both songs came on the radio while I was getting my wrist done… so I just went for it." Beca shrugged, not removing her hands from her chest. Aubrey and Chloe both hugged Beca, disregarding the fact that she didn't have a shirt or bra on. There was no way she was putting a bra on over new tattoos.

"Can I have my shirt please?"

"Nothing we haven't seen before." Chloe winked as Aubrey handed Beca her shirt back. Beca replaced her shirt carefully before turning around to find 2 teary eyes women facing her.

"Woah, what? Why are you crying?" Beca placed one of her hands on each of their faces. Aubrey scoffed as she placed her hand over Beca's.

"We're happy. You had a needle repeatedly jammed into your skin for us. That means a lot." Beca shrugged as she motioned toward their couch.

"It's not that big of a deal. You make it sound so much worse than it is."

"The needle goes into your skin approximately 7 times a second." Beca sat between her girls on the couch, not failing to notice the bag in her back pocket.

"Soooo, what are we doing Friday?" Beca looked between her girlfriends for an answer, but all she saw was them exchanging looks. Beca squinted between her two girlfriends.

"You. Are. In. Cahoots! No fair!"

"This year Aubrey and I are planning it. Remember how you did it last year? Well, this year we are returning the favor." Beca glared at her girlfriends.

"But… Fine. If there is one thing I've learned in the past 6 years of knowing you, it's that I can never win an argument with either of you, let alone against **both** of you."

"Don't worry, it's gonna be great!"

* * *

It was. They all ate breakfast together, then they played laser tag and mini golf, not without several short jokes directed at Beca, then finally Chloe and Aubrey decided that they wanted to do the cliché 'romantic walk on the beach.' That last one didn't go without protest, but as usual, Beca lost. Beca had kept the bag on her the entire time, she figured the black satin bag was more her style than a velvet box, which would have been 2 boxes anyway, in case the moment arrived for her to ask. They were walking down the beach hand in hand, Beca in the middle, when Aubrey and Chloe stopped.

"Guys?" Beca turned around and cocked an eyebrow, and Chloe and Aubrey dropped her hands. Aubrey spoke first.

"Beca, when we met 7 years ago, we didn't exactly get along. We are so much alike it scares me sometimes. It took me a while to come to my senses that I liked you, let alone loved you. Then I had to realize that I loved Chloe too. Then with your anxiety… that scared me so much. I didn't know how to help you, but I wanted to so badly. We've all been through so much, and I love you so much, both of you." Then Chloe added more.

"When I first met you at the activity fair 7 years ago, I admit, I was skeptical, but I had faith in you, Beca. I saw something in you. Then I relentlessly pursued you, until finally we all got together. We've been through some emotional roller coasters, but I love you both so much." Beca tilted her head and smirked with squinted eyes because _really? Is this going where I think it is?_

"What are you guys getting at?" Chloe and Aubrey both looked at each other before they both knelt down and they both opened boxes revealing 2 rings. Silver bands with a diamond in the middle, almost identical.

"We're asking you to marry us Beca." Beca's smirk quickly turned into a grin, and she broke out into laughter. When she recovered, wiping the tear from her eye at the ridiculousness of how she had prepared to do this and they beat her to it, she noticed that she messed up.

"No, wait, don't cry, you don't understand." Chloe and Aubrey both wiped at their eyes, Aubrey speaking first.

"You know, you could have just said no. You didn't have to laugh."

"That's not why I laughed sweetie." Beca kneeled in front of both of the crying girls and took both of their hands with hers.

"Let me explain please?" Aubrey and Chloe nodded shakily.

"Ok, so, I love you guys too, just FYI. When I went to Barden, I just wanted to get the hell out. After just one year, you guys changed all that for me. I decided to stay because you guys were there, Chloe at Barden and Aubrey at undergrad for law school. When I was a kid, I never had those dreams about growing up and walking down the aisle. Never. Not once. But… I realized that's because I don't **want** to walk down the aisle." Aubrey and Chloe both bit their lips and hung their heads.

"No, I don't want to walk down the aisle. I don't wanna go buy and wear some ridiculous white dress." Beca took a deep breath.

"I don't wanna walk down the aisle because I would much rather be waiting at the alter for you two." Beca pulled the black satin bag from her back pocket and dumped the two rings into her hand. She held the green on in front of Aubrey and the blue on in front of Chloe.

"I was laughing because I have been carrying these things around for like… 2 months waiting to ask you guys, then you asked me before I got the chance to. You stole my damn thunder. I'm an idiot, and that wasn't the right way to handle that because I just upset you guys. I love you both so much. While I have no fucking clue how it would work between three people, I just know that I want it to happen. I want to marry you both. For the sake of appearance I will ask. So, will you be my wives?" Chloe and Aubrey both nodded furiously while Beca put the rings on both of them before they tackled Beca into the sand.

When Beca got them upright, Chloe and Aubrey put not one, but two rings on Beca, which is when Beca noticed that they both had similar rings on beneath Beca's, she assumed between the two of them, and the two of them really looked at their rings from Beca.

"Beca, these are beautiful." Chloe finally spoke.

"Where the hell did you get these?" Beca averted her gaze, not fully wanting to admit that she had them custom made.

"I know a guy."

"Seriously, these are beautiful, why did you pick these colors though, if I may ask?" Aubrey the ever questioning woman.

"Here let me show you." Beca took both rings off of them. Holding Aubrey's first up next to her eyes she looked at Chloe.

"See?" It matched Aubrey's eyes perfectly in color. Chloe gasped at the realization.

"Oh my god." Beca smirked as she held Chloe's up next to her eyes and Aubrey in turn gasped due to the color matching perfectly.

"I told you, I know a guy."

"No way. How did you do that? It's like, the exact same color."

"A lady doesn't kiss and tell, Chlo."

"But this is different! C'mon, spill it! I know how you shop, you're terrible at it. How long did it take for you to find these?"

"No time at all." Beca smirked. She wasn't lying, exactly. She didn't find them, she had them made, there is a difference.

"How much were they?" Of course that's what **Aubrey** wanted to know.

"Oh no. I'm not sharing that." _Much too expensive for what you think I make, that's for damn sure._

"Chloe, that's not good. That means it was a lot. C'mon Beca, you have to tell us if it was bad." Bea groaned.

"Ok. I may or may not have had these made for you." Beca looked away, blush rising.

"Woah, seriously?! Oh my god!" Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca tightly again, while Aubrey squinted at her.

"Becaaaa. How much was that?"

"I got it covered, don't worry about it." Aubrey looked skeptical. Beca sighed before relenting.

"Okay, Bree how much do I make in a year?"

"I don't know. About 50,000 or so."

"Ok, yeah, no. Um, triple that?" Beca's shoulders rose to her ears in anticipation.

"What?"

"I make about 150 thousand a year?"

"Why didn't you tell us that?!" Chloe looked shocked, Aubrey looked pissed.

"Look, I made sure that we live comfortably, without us being loaded, even though… technically… we are. I hate people that flaunt money around when there is no need for it. So, I put all the excess in a savings account for rainy days or special occasions, like this, or-" Beca snapped her mouth shut, she was not about to say **that** out loud. She just got engaged, now was not the time to say **that.**

"Or what?" Chloe finally spoke, she didn't seem mad, but they had every right to be.

"Nothing."

"No, you were gonna say something, what was it?" Beca bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair. Beca mumbled something that wasn't caught.

"What?"

"I was gonna say… that you know… in case we like… have kids or something…" Chloe squealed, then Beca was being crushed from both sides.

"You're so cute Beca, oh my god!"

"I am not cute Chloe!"

"Yes, you are. That was the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Aubrey, you're not helping. You guys… you're not mad?"

"Mad? Why would we be mad?"

"That's kind of a lot of money I've been hiding. And for like… 2 years I've been hiding it. That's a bit of money guys."

"We're not mad. Shocked, yes. How much is there, exactly?" Beca sighed in relief, she really thought they would be mad, but even Aubrey said she wasn't, so she's safe.

"Um, there **was** like 250 grand or something like that."

"How much is there now?"

"I'm not telling. Because that would tell you how much I spent on your rings, which I'm not telling." Beca smiled condescendingly at Aubrey.

"Oh come on! It had to have been expensive." Aubrey wasn't gonna let this go was she?

"I guess. But that doesn't matter. Because you guys like them, right?"

"Yes! Of course we do!" Chloe was literally bouncing.

"Then I'm not telling! Because as long as you like them, it doesn't matter how much I **did** or **did not** spend on them. Now, come here. I would like to hold my fiancés please." Beca opened her arms for her girls as she closed her eyes and tilted her chin up. Chloe and Aubrey both got under one of Beca's arms, wrapping one round Beca's back and lacing their other hands with each other in Beca's lap.

"So, does anyone understand how the fuck this is gonna work? I'm thinking we take Mitchell."

* * *

Beca shifted on her feet nervously, glancing at all her friends. Stacie, Fat Amy, and Cynthia Rose all stood to her right. Chloe's sister Amanda, Aubrey's sister Melissa, and Aubrey's brother Marcus all stood on her left. Beca saw Jesse, Benji, Emily, and all the other Bellas in the front row. Beca was standing in the middle of the alter in her beautiful open back black dress, open back so that her tattoos were visible. Beca was facing the back, waiting for the music to start. This whole, three way wedding was still confusing as hell, but whatever. It took them months to find someone who was willing to even do this for them, so she wasn't going to complain. She scanned her eyes over the audience, both of her parents actually came, Sheila and Megan included, Chloe's entire, **giant** , family came, and Aubrey's family came. Minus both of their fathers who had to walk them out. Beca smiled as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it with the back of her hand as the music started. Beca folded her hands in front of herself, waiting patiently.

Beca's breath stopped when she walked in as a huge grin spread across her face as another tear fell. Chloe looked up and made eye contact with Beca, and then Chloe started crying, which made Beca have to fight tears harder as she smiled brightly at one of her brides. Chloe was wearing a stunning, form fitting white dress with intricate lace designs that left Beca breathless. She made her way with her father to Beca, stopping at the front to kiss her father and for him to say he loved her. Beca stuck her left hand out for Chloe, who took it and stepped up next to Beca as they waited for Aubrey together. Beca leaned over to Chloe as she kissed the hand she was holding.

"You look beautiful." Chloe let out a laugh as Beca wiped her tears away with her thumb. Beca's free hand hung by her side as she faced the back of the church yet again. She held Chloe's hand tight with her left one, while Chloe held her blue flowers with her other hand. Both of them gasped when Aubrey stepped out. Beca and Chloe both had tears rolling freely down their faces, wiping at them periodically. Aubrey looked up and saw Chloe and Beca, holding hands waiting for her. Aubrey started crying too, because how could she not? Aubrey was wearing a white dress too, both her and Chloe insisted on sticking to **that** tradition at least, while Beca refused to wear white, using the argument that the black would contrast with the white dress on either side of her nicely, but everyone knows it's just because she wants to wear black. Aubrey's dress was similar to Chloe's, at least to Beca it was, but each was custom fit to the woman, so they both looked incredible. Aubrey made her way up to Beca and Chloe, who both had looks of adoration on their faces. Aubrey also received a kiss and an 'I love you' from her father, before taking Beca's hand. Aubrey had flowers also, but hers were emerald green.

"You look beautiful. Both of you." Beca said as they all turned around switching hands, so now Aubrey was on Beca's left, and Chloe was on her right. Beca zoned out completely during the ceremony up until it was time for vows, because it still confused her how it worked. She came back to her senses when the priest addressed her.

"Beca, if you would like to go first."

"Oh, yeah totally." That one earned her amused looks from both Chloe and Aubrey. Beca took a step forward, so she could look at both of them, focusing on not tripping in the dumb heels she had to wear because both of her fiancés were mountains taller than her.

"So, even I'm confused on how this three way marriage works, even though Aubrey and Chloe have explained it to me countless times, each time I zoned because, well I'm Beca **effin** Mitchell." Beca bit her lip and smiled as she gathered her thoughts.

"Aubrey was right, I should have written something down and brought it with me, but, it's more fun to just wing it." This one earned her a laugh from everyone.

"You know, I lived in a dark place for a majority of my life. With my anxiety issues and my grade A ability to push people away. I never thought that letting people in would be a good idea. I lived with the mindset that people always leave, because for me, they always had. When my dad left, my mom had to work more to keep me healthy and safe, to keep food on the table and clothes on my back. I understand that now, but as a kid I felt like I had lost both parents. I decided at a young age that people would only leave and hurt you. Until I was forced by my dad to go to Barden. Where I met the most important people to me. I made life long friends," Beca looked over at the Bellas in attendance and at Jesse and Benji, "And life long partners. I met two people who no matter what I had done, or how much I pushed, never left me, even though I'm a 'grade A pain in the ass.' They stuck with me through my anxiety, my all nighters because the mix just wouldn't work for me or because I was having nightmares and couldn't sleep, and for some reason agreed to be with me here today. Still haven't figured out that one yet." Beca grinned as she received another chuckle from everyone.

"I feel like after I went to Barden, my life did this crazy 180. Not all at once, but like, it has made this giant 180, and I still have trouble wrapping my head around it sometimes, but… I just feel like the luckiest person to be able to share my crazy stupid life with these two nerds. I think I'm supposed to like, describe how amazing you guys are or something, but I really can't. I'm bad with words from the get-go, but no words that I could pull out of my ass would even come close to all the shit I think and feel. So, I think I'll leave it at that." Beca smirked at her two girls who were now full on crying. Aubrey was able to compose herself first, obviously, because Chloe was the most emotional person ever. Aubrey switched places with Beca and began her speech.

"You know, from the time I was a little girl, I had been planning and dreaming what this day would be like. I had it all planned out in my head, meet a nice guy that I can bring home to daddy, end up marrying him, and have my 2.5 kids and live in the suburbs with my white picket fence. Boy, was I wrong. Chloe and I have been friends forever, I guess us becoming something more was always inevitable, but we were just missing something to make us work. It just turned out that that something we were missing was a 5 foot 2 brunette with ear monstrosities, tattoos, and an affinity for music who wouldn't put up with my crap. I had a whole speech planned out, but standing here now, I have to agree with Beca, as odd as that is. Nothing I could ever manage to say could express what I'm feeling. For either of you two. The only two things I really, really want to say would be: thank you. For loving me, for helping me, for being my friends, for being my everything. And that I love you. I love everything about both of you, and it's as simple as that." Aubrey smiled as Chloe took her place in front of them.

"I've always been called the emotional one in this relationship, I guess I'm not doing a good job proving that wrong by crying my eyes out right now." Everyone laughed as Chloe wiped at her eyes yet again. Thank god for waterproof mascara and eyeliner.

"I guess we all came to an agreement that words suck, but I'm gonna try anyway. The other day, I was asked what my favorite thing about each of you is, and it got me thinking. I thought about it for a super long time. And I think if I had to pick one thing, I found them. My favorite thing about Beca is how attentive she is. She remembers everything about us, even if she thinks it's small things. She's known my coffee order since the first time we got coffee. She remembered how much I hate not having socks, so she always makes sure there is a clean pair of socks in plain sight for me. She remembered how I love the color blue, but I don't like to wear it because of my eyes, and the next day I swear saw her wearing a blue shirt. One time, Aubrey needed to put her hair up and didn't have a hair tie. From that day on, Beca always has 2 hair ties on her wrist just in case. She really pays attention to us. Even down to the way that I lace my shoes so I can tie them on the left side because I'm left handed. There are so many more things I can think of but I'd be standing here all day." Chloe kissed Beca's hand before she continued.

"Like she already said, Bree and I have been best friends forever. We already knew everything about each other before we got mixed up in the whirlwind that is Beca Mitchell and this weird relationship. The thing that I love most about Aubrey is the way she always needs… contact? Is that the way to word it? She just always finds ways to be next to us. Whether its getting a hug before she leaves, or just brushing her hand over my arm as she walks by. It happens so often it's like she needs to be touching us in some way, just platonically. Like she needs a physical reminder that we are there? I think that it's a really reassuring thing, to know that she wants to be around me and Beca as much as we want to be around her. Its like her subtle way of reminding us that she's there and that she loves us. So, in the words of these two lovely ladies, I'll leave it at that." Chloe kissed Aubrey's hand before taking her place on Beca's right. Everyone was in tears. Even the badass Beca Mitchell herself.

"With the powers vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you wives!" Chloe and Aubrey both kissed Beca's cheek at the same time, then proceeded to pick her up together, locking their hands underneath Beca to hold her.

"Hey!" They carried Beca to the dance floor where they very quickly discussed who danced with who in what order. They decided that for the slow dances, Aubrey and Chloe, then Aubrey and Beca, then Beca and Chloe, the 3rd dancing with their father in the interim. Chloe grabbed Aubrey's hand and dragged her off while Beca approached her dad.

"Dad?" Beca stuck her hand out at her father who was beaming. He took her out and danced with her.

"I'm really proud of you Beca. I'm so glad you're happy."

"Yeah, me too." Beca had **yet another** hidden talent. She waited until she switched with Chloe to show it though. Beca distinctly remembers a very upset Aubrey saying that they all needed to take ballroom dance lessons, which Beca refused. Aubrey was very not happy with her, not to mention very stressed, so Beca decided she would make it up to her.

"Excuse me ma'am, but I believe it is my turn with the blonde bombshell." Chloe giggled and handed Aubrey off to Beca.

"Hey Bree, follow my lead, will ya?"

"Um, sure?" Beca smirked and lead Aubrey in the Waltz. Aubrey recognized the steps.

"I didn't know you knew how to dance Beca."

"I told you I didn't need to take classes Posen."

"It's Mitchell now."

"Oh, is it? I was unaware of your name change." Beca said sarcastically as she spun around with Aubrey, wowing everyone else on the dance floor, including Chloe. When they stopped to switch Aubrey with Chloe, everyone applauded their dancing. Beca took Chloe's hands and took the lead. Beca lead Chloe differently, not in any particular dance, just having fun twirling around and spinning the red head as she laughed.

"I got a surprise for you and Aubrey."

"Really? What is it?!" Beca laughed at Chloe's ever present enthusiasm.

"You'll see in a minute, won't you? Come on, let's get Aubrey." The music stopped, there was a pause, and Jesse came up to the mic.

"Hey everybody! I've been asked to man the music by none other than Beca whatever the hell your last name is now." Beca cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled at Jesse.

"It's Mitchell you asshole!"

"And she asked that the first song after the quote unquote 'stupid horrible slow dances' be this. She told me she made this for her lovely brides, and wants everyone to have a great time and start the party with this song. Enjoy everyone!" As Jesse put the mic back and made his way to the little DJ booth they had set up outside, Chloe and Aubrey sent Beca questioning looks. Beca smiled ruefully and grabbed one of each of their hands.

"Come on." As they made it to the center of the dance floor with others starting to flood in with the new fast paced music, Aubrey and Chloe's faces lit up as they recognized the songs, and Beca bit her lip in anticipation. It was a mash up of covers of Titanium and Just The Way You Are. Covers done by Beca. Chloe and Aubrey teared up again, and Beca took it as a good sign, breaking out into a grin reserved for Aubrey and Chloe.

"I love you, Mrs. And Mrs. Mitchell." Beca smirked at them. Chloe and Aubrey smiled too as they both hugged Beca, and she was once again happy when they spoke together.

"We love you too, Mrs. Mitchell."


End file.
